Snowpocalypse 2023
Well, it snowed in ol’ Portland town, and not one of those “snow in the morning, melt by noon” type-a snows. No, this one stuck. Flurries and whatnot. Many friends of mine were sharing stories on Instagram of them being stuck in traffic. Icy roads, schools shut down. General mayhem on the streets. Fortunately, I was able to drive to the grocery store and back and didn’t have to resort to killing and eating my neighbors. A shame; some of them look pretty tasty.
News & Updates
Really not much going on over here. Same old, same old. Livin’ the dream! Etc. Etc. I run a lot now. I’m getting pretty good at making stir fry. Like, not “wok with intensely high heat” levels of good, but you know. Pretty good.
Best Picture 2023 Showdown
I’ve done it. I’ve seen all the Best Picture nominees this year. Every single one.
I would like to at this point rate them in order of best to worst, in my humble opinion. As always, you can follow my film reviews on Letterboxd if you really want to catch my opinions hot off the press. The press of viewing the movie, I mean. … Right after I finished the movie, is what I’m saying.Banshees of Inisherin
This and #2 are actually tied for 1st. If either one of these wins the Oscar, I will be happy. They are so diametrically opposed in terms of style and structure and theme, but so brilliant in their own ways. I love Martin McDonagh’s work to death, but EEAtT (EEEAAATT) is just so wild and weird and wonderful that I can’t pick one over the other. They are lovely and excellent in their own ways.
Everything Everywhere All the Time
See 1.
Women Talking
This movie was the most recent Best Picture film I saw, and I was very pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I don’t think enough people will watch this film, and they should, especially men. It’s one of those movies in the vein of 12 Angry Men—people having to argue through a problem, which reveals their characters and intentions, except this is definitely made with a more artistic flair. Great stuff.
Tár
I’m not even sure how to describe this movie. On Letterboxd I said it was like “Whiplash on quaaludes.” It was a slow burn for me to enjoy it but once I was in I was in to the end. I could see how this would not be everyone’s favorite though, it was one of those films where I had to put my smartphone down and actually sit and pay attention. (For the record, I pay attention to films, I just also … sometimes look at my phone too.)
All Quiet on the Western Front
This film deviates from the book a bit but really captures the uselessness of war. I was supposed to read the book in high school but I didn’t, but I know the gist of the differences and I’m okay with it. Adding the return to the village part would’ve made the film akin to The Hurt Locker (go to war, come back and civilian life is not the same, go back to war), which was a great movie which won Best Picture, so maybe this film felt the need to explore a different aspect of filmmaking—the gruesome trenches juxtaposed with the gruesome politics. The war scenes are as without mercy as Saving Private Ryan, even more so at parts (compare and contrast the knife scenes, for instance). One of those “only need to watch it once” type of movies though, unless you’re one of those dudes who fuckin’ looooves war movies, in which case this movie’s point has probably gone over your head.
Top Gun: Maverick
Speaking of dudes who fuckin’ loooove war movies … this is the film for you! I appreciate Tom Cruise’s adherence toward realism in his movies, with the cast flying their own jets and all. It’s also a film that knows exactly what it is and delivers on that. You know what you want to see, it knows what you want to see. Funny how shirtless dudes playing volleyball changed to shirtless dudes playing football though. What, is volleyball gay now? Sorry Tom, but I bet the gays love the shirtless dudes playing football too.
Triangle of Sadness
This movie has an absolutely batshit crazy Act 2, with some stuff that genuinely shocked me and also made me laugh out loud. I do think it goes slightly overboard with its message (we get it, rich people suck), but I appreciate the near-absurdity the movie brings. Could’ve been shorter, and I didn’t like the somewhat abrupt ending. But I hope to see Dolly de Leon in more stuff! (Also, RIP Charlbi Kriek, who didn’t even get to see her film’s premiere.)
The Fabelmans
Look, I know Spielberg is schmaltzy and all but this was like eating a Warhead made out of schmaltz. I really wasn’t into this film, even with the amazing final scenes. I may have to watch it again sometime though because I feel like the ending was a bit of an Adaptation moment. Regardless, I wasn’t a fan of the performances anyway and truly wonder what the deal was with Michelle Williams’s character. That coupled with Tony Kushner’s dated dialogue that made me feel like I was watching a play from 1994 was enough for me.
Elvis
Only Baz Luhrmann could take a fascinating character like Elvis Presley and make him the side character to his fucking manager. Who, to be fair, is an interesting guy too, but Baz doesn’t really even do a lot with him either. This movie is a maximalist nightmare. Austin Butler makes a great Elvis though, and there are some good scenes with him, sandwiched between just atrocious flamboyant nonsense. Baz perfecting the kitchen sink directing approach but failing to present Elvis fucking Presley as an interesting character. This film really feels like maybe Elvis was actually kind of boring most of his life and Baz had to spice it up so Gen Z wouldn’t review bomb him on Rotten Tomatoes or something.
Well, that’s it! I hope Banshees or Everything wins.
Providence Heart to Start
Hey guess what I did a 5k again. Here’s my blog post about it:
Another month, another 5k. This was the Providence Heart to Start, part of the Hood to Coast … family? of events? Collective of jaunts? I don’t know. It took place at Cook Park in Tigard, Oregon, about 20 miles southwest of Portland. It was a lovely day for running, overcast, temperature in the mid 40s, the tiniest sprinkle of rain at times.
Getting here was easy, so I don’t have to belabor you with any commute issues. Cook Park is lovely and has lots of trails that I would like to walk on someday, but today is not that day! Today we race!
Atmosphere was chill, not a lot of people for this race. Sometimes races feel like a Big Deal (Shamrock Run) and others feel like a group of folks getting together for a thing (Tar n Trail). This one was kind of in the middle. There was a kids run before the 5 and 10ks, so lots of little warblers running around.
When I got my bib a couple days before, there was no swag. I think there were free passes to one of the big athletic stores, but neither of the women at the station were like “Here these are free things,” so I just left with my bib. At the event though, they had a few bits of free stuff, which included:
Protein bars. Lots of different kinds of protein bars,
A stress ball in the shape of a heart (remember, this race is for heart health),
A pin that read, “Think With Your ❤️”, which, I’ll be honest, I personally think is a bad idea,
A beer or seltzer after the run (10 Barrel Brewing IPAs or Michelob Ultra Seltzer, to be precise). Probably could’ve had a lot of beers/seltzers if you wanted to, I dunno,
Bottle openers (there were no bottled beers or seltzers, only cans).
I think that was it. Not too shabby, but not my favorite group of swag. Again, I really do think you should think with your 🧠, not your ❤️. Lots of bad decisions have been made thinking with your ❤️.
Anyway, the Big Discrepancy! I started Strava right at the start line and I had this corroborated with two friends of mine who were at the race: the race was likely only 3 miles [but probably was actually a full 5k, read on]. I know, I know. Please sit down. We’ll get through this, together.
When I passed the finish line, Strava showed 3 miles, so I stopped briefly to grab my medal and then started running again, to pick up the other .11 of a mile, but was flagged down by a guy who needed the chip tag thing on the bottom of my bib, so I gave that to him and then proceeded to run the additional .11 of a mile. Ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that I think my time would’ve been slightly faster if I didn’t have to stop. I’m not mad at the event for short changing us a 5k, but it is frustrating to get your results and see that they are 38:01, only to discover that that’s your 3 mile result.
Although … if you reverse calculate a 12:15/mi pace (which is on my official results) into a pace calculator, for a 5k, the result is 38:04. So … maybe Strava fucked up on this one. WOULD NOT SURPRISE ME. I wonder if Strava gets nervous out in the woods or something? I mean, chip time is literally just the time between when you cross the start line and when you cross the finish line. I can’t imagine it being out of whack, especially since it’s a company that has set it all up and whose job is to set up chip timers. I think Strava’s GPS just screwed up somewhere.
Either way, I’m taking the chip time. 38:01! A very good run!
Running-wise, I think I did pretty good. Obviously we can’t completely rely on the damn Strava app for this, but we’ll use it anyway.
I really hoofed it out the gate, mainly to get around all the slow people walkers. The “track” was a thin concrete trail, maybe 5ft wide at most, and was a nightmare to deal with for the first 8th of a mile. A lot of us ended up running around in the grass, and I think I ran on some parts where plants usually grow, which probably was a bad idea. The start of the race is always a clusterfuck like this, but this one seemed especially annoying. I appreciate the Shamrock Run, which organizes runners based on their pace, with slower runners towards the back.
I only stopped three times, with the longest gap being a suddenly sharp hill that I absolutely did not want to run up or down. You can also see that dip at the end of mile 3, where the race ended [which was probably actually 3.11 miles, maybe]. Annoying. Meanwhile, when I run my pace is all over the place, which is something I’d like to work on, but I’m glad that the difference between the first mile and the third mile is only little more than a minute. That’s progress; my first mile pace at Race for Warmth was 11:53, while the 3rd mile was 14:13, a 2:20 difference. Slow and steady wins the race, as they say.
The weirdest part was at the end: when I decided to run the extra .11 of a mile, I felt like I could keep going. That’s dangerous territory, folks. That’s long run territory. Maybe we’ll talk about that some other time.
A very good idea I did before the race was massage my feet, specifically my left foot. Doing this virtually eliminated the numb foot I’ve been getting around mile 2. Plus it just felt good! I also moisturized my feet a couple days ago. This was nice, but I think it also made my feet slightly slippery this morning. Could be my imagination though. My feet were happier with me overall though, which was good!
After the race and the little extra run I chatted with a friend and commiserated over Strava, and then I went to the taqueria truck that was making burritos and ordered a big and delicious chorizo burrito with the works and a champurrado. I always forget how weird champurrado is. It’s good, just different. Could’ve gotten a horchata, but a warm drink felt like a better option.
And then I drove home! The end. See you at the Shamrock Run!
Thing 4 U
I binged through the Taskmaster episodes on YouTube and was disappointed when season (sorry, series) 12 ended at episode 6. They finally have started releasing new episodes, every week I believe, and FINALLY are releasing series 13. If you haven’t seen Taskmaster, you owe it to yourself. It’s brilliant. I’ve linked series 13 but obviously if you have never seen it, start with series 1!
The End
When next we meet, I will have ran my first Shamrock Run in 5 years! Also, it will be the Ides of March! Remember those? Caesar did! Ta for now.
I’d rather eat my own turds than watch Avatar 2.